New things 22 to 27 Seaside Holiday

Apparently I refuse to not finish the thing that no one (including myself) is that bothered about. If anything six months of trying new things convinced me that unless you are on some kind of round the world trip it’s actually more fun doing the things you already enjoy more often.

But anyway…

New thing 22 : Scarborough Tram

£1 to save carrying a toddler up way too many steps to our hotel


Sharing a tram with a man who genuinely thought the council swept the beach each night to smooth out yesterday’s sand castles (even though they didn’t bother emptying the bins)

also 10/10

New thing 23 : Scarborough Big Wheel

£12 to queue up and get a view only slightly better than the £1 tram


New thing 24 : Scary fire engine boat

With three speeds and a very small lake to navigate it isn’t technically scary, but any kind of boat / water situation where I am the only adult in charge of a toddler makes me disproportionately anxious.

This was at the little park by Scarborough Open Air Theatre so probably a less intimidating option than pedalling a Swan around Peasholme Park next door and also less effort so 5/10 from me but probably 10/10 from Emily.

New thing 24 : Little Steam Train

A cute little 1930s steam train saving me carrying a small person and all her newly acquired toys for 1 mile between Sea Life Centre and Peasholm Park. 10/10

New thing 25 : Ask Scarborough

I know I’m scraping the barrel when I throw Ask Italian in…but it is the 30th December and there are slim pickings for ‘new things’ to do in one day so it’s going in.

As far as Ask restaurants go I think this is a good one with outdoor seating across the harbour.

Unless you are afraid of seagulls then I imagine this is the worst.

We had a good time as Emily made friends with some little Peppa Pig enthusiasts on the next table, however this obviously wasn’t thanks to Ask itself.

We are however fans of the shot glasses of pink lemonade they always seem to give you, so thank you Ask for that.

7 / 10 for Ask Scarborough as it was nice but I preferred Winking Willie’s for fish and chips across the road, which also has views across the harbour but as I’ve been a few times is technically not allowed a number on the list (but I think is allowed photos).

New thing 26 : Scarborough Fair Collection (do not go)

I like this photo but it is the exact opposite of the actual experience. Not just because motion sickness means I have to keep my eyes closed the entire ride…but because the museum was generally a child hating 1980s relic.

I think what happened was a retired rich man liked old things so filled a massive shed with vintage rides and vehicles. But he (and I’ll assume he is a he) liked showing off his toys rather than sharing them so spent the rest of his days on Print Artist making little signs to laminate asking people ‘not to touch’ or to ‘stand behind the line’ or ‘obey the one way system’.

This would have been fine if the website made it clear that they basically hate children and want this to be a weird time capsule for people who were children in the 1950s (and would like to avoid anyone born after that). However it is described as a family friendly place.

We also made the mistake of having lunch there, which took a painful amount of time as they were making all the lunches fresh within site of the counter but for some reason then meticulously wrapping each plate in cling film before it was allowed to the table…at which point it was carried over by a waitress who looked to be in her late 80s. Admittedly she seemed to be having a good time but it did put a bit of a delay on things and none of the other staff wanted to help her so she was running the show.

A very strange experience but a nice carousel 2/10.

New thing 27 : Filey Brigg Country Park

Cheap parking and a little playground with a coffee shop at the top of the cliff with a nice little beach at the bottom. All good for us 10/10

New Thing 11: Franksters

My first new thing regret. So many excellent food options at White Rose shopping centre and I wasted my appetite on Franksters.

Someone online said it was a cross between Five Guys and Nandos. Absolute liars.

It is Burger King but twice as expensive and half as good. They don’t even have bacon.

They do serve halal though so I guess if you are Muslim and like wasting money you may enjoy.

Before I stop complaining I need to point out how sad this arcade is:

And how ashamed they should be about the blatent copying of Burger Kings most fabulous product:

1 out of 10 Franksters. Shame on you.

(… not even a big cup of coke)

New Thing 7: The Tetley

I’m not an art person but I can definitely be enticed out by a good brunch menu.

I was intending to go to the Henry Moore sculpture museum in Leeds, which is apparently a Very Important Museum if you are into art. I do not know about art but I do know that the idea of steak for breakfast feels very Americanly excessive and I am into that.

So here I am eating steak for breakfast at an art museum. Also someone decided to create a new word for cortado as maybe cortado doesn’t sound Italian enough and Piccolo makes the hipsters happy? I don’t know, but here is a piccolo (aka cortado).

Steak was good, coffee was good, egg was good. I was high maintenance and swapped out the chips (too early) for a hash brown (appropriate) but I would technically class this as a potato rosti.

I also feel the need to point out that I did not massacre a plate of tasty food by stripey smattering ketchup across the whole thing. That was some kind of chipotle type sauce from the chef and it was also good.

This isn’t just a post about how fussy I am regarding food and drink presentation and terminology.

I did actually visit a gallery as well. Here is some evidence:

My information on this is that an art student asked some different groups to make them a chair and then put the chairs together and here it is. UNITY IS POWER. I may have missed the point.

The rest of the museum did have a point of mental health, the artist did a collaborative sculpture / audio / art / written piece approach to time spent at mental health institutions gathering information.

The take home point I got was : men are shit.

Example 1:

Next up we have chaotic piano music pumping out to signify gradually declining mental health as your family drive you insane. Unsurprisingly the phone had a male voice saying things that would drive you insane.

After this an elaborate tale of how men fuck up your life.

But don’t worry, the (ex) wife eventually had a brief period of happiness before death.

Moral of the story, don’t marry men.

And other than some video / audio extras that was it. It’s a very small gallery (but free entry).

So I’m giving the gallery a 6 out of 10

Steak for breakfast 5 out of 10

Bacon is a British breakfast food because it makes much more sense than steak.

Tinder, gone but not forgotten

I deleted tinder this week 🎉

Not actually a big deal, I could technically start again in ten minutes. Admittedly a minor faff to scroll through my gallery and find photos without a toddler photobombing but I’m ready to make that commitment. It does delete all conversations and matches, so if I get dumped I will have to start fresh…but that is definitely no hardship. It is probably a bit weird to pop up in someone’s DMs after 9 months like ‘hey…so I’m single and can’t be bothered swiping again, how about it? 🙋🏼‍♀️’.

Note that I put ‘if I get dumped’. Partially because I’m a bit of a pessimist and always half feel like I could get surprise dumped out of nowhere any minute. And also because I’m aware quitting things is not my strong point.

I remember one metaphor where someone was trying to justify their cheating by saying some people get off the sinking ship early doors and hop on the little dingy and have a shit time in the cold for bit – other people wait for a better ship to come by and jump straight over.

And there are people like me…

(to any non-Titanic fans, this is me going down with the ship)

Continue reading “Tinder, gone but not forgotten”

Out of office on

Just a quick post for anyone who is visiting and wondered where the last 150 posts had disappeared to.

Yesterday I googled my name and it linked here, annoyingly straight to a blog titled poo-nado…not my finest piece of writing. It was quite literally shit.

I always thought my tiny blog would be really hard to find, when I started I would Google an exact title of a blog post I’d written with the words ‘Emily Bea and me’ and it was nowhere in the top few search pages. I felt like I could freely pour out details of my car crash emotional life / unnecessary vagina info / requests for things to be shoved up my bum during childbirth and it was all good fun because the only people reading it came from my ‘close friends’ list on Instagram.

16,000 hits later I have accidentally boosted my SEO so that my name or even ‘single mum yorkshire’ show the site on the first Google page. I feel a lot less anonymous now and am somewhat questioning my choices on the basis that anyone who knows my name can now find out a whole lot more. Way too much more.

I have the tendency to get a bit ranty. At best my blog may give an embarrassing impression of who I am. At worst I probably seem like a hypocritical, self entitled, whiney, greedy, man hating prick.

I started the blog as a way of pouring my heart out and getting me off mindless Netflix binges. I also thought that any other recently dumped mums may find it and sympathise and maybe feel a bit better like we’re all in this shit boat together (but ten months later I can honestly say I do actually like my boat).

So it was never an Instagram friendly piece of self marketing, but it may have gone a little too far the other way. The site where you go when you’ve had a bad day because it’s always fun to go… ah fuck at least I’m not her.

Anyway I couldn’t bear to delete the whole site so all the posts are now private. Perhaps a bit of a knee jerk reaction and maybe I will post some more or make some of the old posts public again.

But for now thanks for reading. Thanks to all my real life friends who used to check in daily and message me on the days where I was writing particularly crazy stuff.

Even bigger thank you to the darlings who would post cards / chocolate / wine / flowers.

Thank you to my Internet friends who sometimes check in on me even though we’ve never met and I am completely incompetent at basics like replying to messages.

2019 was in many ways a bit of a knob. But also it made me realise how lucky I am to be a woman being supported by other women. Women are fucking brilliant and I’m optimistic that 2020 will also be that.

21st April: A beach bunny

Emily’s first trip to the beach was SO MUCH FUN. I was a bit worried that going to Aldeburgh beach on what was supposed to be the hottest Easter Sunday on record might be a bit stupid. It turned out to be a wonderful day, not too hot and as you can see it wasn’t too busy. Excellent.

As it’s a rocky beach my very organised sister brought three massive ikea mats to spread down. She also brought a blow up paddling pool and we put another baby mat in and lots of toys to (theoretically) keep the baby from crawling away / choking on pebbles. The rascal only sat in it alone for a couple of minutes but it was still handy if we went with her to avoid pebble negotiations.

I’ve included some Aldeburgh pictures because it was bloody beautiful. Alongside Bamburgh I think it’s my favourite seaside town. As well as the huge beach and pretty painted houses there were some good shops like Joules, Seasalt and L’Occitaine en Provence. Parking was pretty easy with lots of spots right next to the beach. There were lots of cafes, pubs and a gelato shop.

We just chilled on the beach, tried to read magazines (but Emily also wanted to eat them which made life difficult) and ate loads. I even let Emily eat a chip at the end of the day, she loved it the little potato head.