New Thing 11: Franksters

My first new thing regret. So many excellent food options at White Rose shopping centre and I wasted my appetite on Franksters.

Someone online said it was a cross between Five Guys and Nandos. Absolute liars.

It is Burger King but twice as expensive and half as good. They don’t even have bacon.

They do serve halal though so I guess if you are Muslim and like wasting money you may enjoy.

Before I stop complaining I need to point out how sad this arcade is:

And how ashamed they should be about the blatent copying of Burger Kings most fabulous product:

1 out of 10 Franksters. Shame on you.

(… not even a big cup of coke)

New Thing 8: Wetherby Whaler with no pants

So many new things! A trip to the pool at Wetherby, accidental no underwear in public and a new fish and chip shop. So excessive.

Wetherby Leisure Centre

Commitment issues mean I can’t be tied down to a swimming appointment in advance. This also means I had to call five swimming pools for Bank Holiday Monday before I could find one to fit us in.

Wetherby Leisure Centre is in a nice little spot by the river with playing fields at the back. It’s pretty retro having opened in the 1970s, but I liked it anyway.

We brought my dad along as Emily refused to attend her pre-paid swimming lesson with him last time on the basis that ‘Bubba cannot swim’ and is apparently not to be trusted carrying her.

However despite me being there as back up she still doesn’t trust him in a swimming pool context. Which is ironic given that she also insists that she herself can swim, having had no lessons since we stopped when she was 10 months old. Many times she got angry at me for holding on to her whilst we were in 1m deep water.

Ice cream bribery

Wetherby has a free car park by the bridge which normally has an ice cream van parked up. I suggested this during what almost became an insanely long getting changed session in order to hurry along the process. Whereas I was super efficient getting ready, having turned up in swimming costume, hoodie and jeans which I meant I only needed to put on hoodie and jeans.

I really like this little spot, there is a small beach and the river is very shallow and brave people can paddle out to an island in the middle (not me, too cold).

As it was hot there was a huge queue for an ice cream and during the queue time plenty of people walked past with beautiful smelling fish and chips. Reluctant to waste time invested we had an ice cream starter followed by fish and chips from Wetherby Whaler. I haven’t been there before and I am a fussy woman but it was wonderful.

After this we had a fun little splash around and then a walk along the riverside.

It’s a bank holiday and I’m high on the satisfaction of sunshine and greasy food so I’m giving everything a 10 out of 10. An excellent afternoon.

14th June: Woah! We’re going to Eureka. Woah! Get to West Yorkshire 🎼

Very, very, very belated blogging here.

I toyed with the idea of forgetting the whole diary section of my blog and waiting till I’m having a bad day and just going waaaaahhhhh fuck my life / oh and here is a charity shop buy. But then I remembered I had some cute Eureka photos I want to show off so back to the diary thing.

Friday 14th June we went to Eureka. You pay for an adult and you get in for free for a year. Babies under one are free anyways and babies over one (who I refuse to call toddlers as this is scarily close for my baby and I can’t let go) cost money. But for some reason if you take your under one baby and go once they are over one you don’t have to pay. Excellent. Get yourselves to Eureka almost one year old babies. Bargains ahoy.

So there were three under 5s zones. The first was the sound garden featured above with a padded area for non walking babies to be safe from devilish toddlers and many signs to this effect. Did a single toddler walk past the safe baby zone without hurtling themselves into it? Of course not. How many shits did the mothers give? Absolutely zero. So I had to sit inside it with her as a human shield.

Here are a couple of photos from the sound garden, because it was nicely photographable and I bothered to put lipstick on so I’m going to upload a selfie:

Then the second under 5s bit was the discover zone. It kind of felt like my very vague memories of my old nursery. A table to cut / colour / create, a sand pit and a corner with rugs and puppets and cushions and toys. I just lay myself down there like a very lazy woman. The mothers at the table having to humour their small people and shit artwork kept looking at me. I’m not sure if they were judging me for lying down or jealous. I did a puppet show for Emily until I realised she really wasn’t watching and just wanted to bash the water bottles around. Could have done that at home really.

Next up was a desert themed something. Probably fun if you’re five. Emily was too busy to pose here:

Then we wandered around the non baby specific bits. A flashing lights section which was a bit trippy and a member of staff kept coming over to say Eh-Oh in the style of a teletubby to Emily. Quite alarming. Very awkward.

Then we went around the human body bit which is the most interesting. They had a screen which showed the hottest parts on you when you stand in front of it. It showed up that Emily is a human furnace. Which I knew already. Weirdly my crotch was a hot zone. I have a super hot crotch, can’t believe I’m single with an asset like that. I was quite glad the place was empty. I swiftly moved on to the giant tongue for a photo opp:

I think that was all that was note worthy. Other than the fact I skipped lunch and got excited walking up to see an M&S Food only to realise its all fucking plastic. Instead I got the £2.50 coffee and cake after 2pm offer from the cafe even though it was 1.50pm because I obviously look poor / desperate for cake.

So it gave us something to do for the afternoon. I’m not quite sure if Emily enjoyed it as she has developed a resting disinterested face at the moment. It’s quite funny watching people try their very hardest to get a smile out of her when we are out and she just poker faces them. It makes people feel awkward. It’s funny.

That’s all I can add other than that there is a massive sand pit outside which was fun:

And that’s Emily saying bye for now folks.